A long day

School starts on Monday, and as usual, I am devastated that my kids will be gone all day, every day. I always miss them! My oldest is in junior college now, and my youngest is going into 7th grade. For some reason, I must clean my childrens' rooms and bathroom right before school starts to ensure an uncluttered mind. If not for them, then for me. As my youngest walked through his empty school today, to locate his locker and his classes, I was moved by how grown up he is. He ran into a couple of friends and suddenly I was ignored. I've been through this before with my oldest, but that doesn't make it hurt any less. It is normal, I know, for a boy to move away from the clutches of his mother in middle school. I accept it and even embrace it for he is showing his desire to be independent from me, which means he has a lot to do between now and the time he starts college.

So I was melancholy today. And thinking back to all the days my boys and I have laughed and played and carried on in mother/child delight. It is slipping from me quickly. And I want to close my eyes right now, the cleaning is all done, hopefully minds are uncluttered and full of fresh energy for Monday, and hold on for this last bit of time. Embracing my childrens lives has come so naturally to me. Letting go is a lot tougher.